Guest Article
By Kimberley Schenk

Speaking with power is not about force. It’s about respecting yourself and your listener as you exchange information. Good communication involves patience, listening, and the ability to deliver clear messages. Communication at work can become difficult when too many people use rotten communication techniques. Who’s to blame? Who cares? Not to be flip but the reasons for poor communication habits are numerous and complex. There’s far more to gain by focusing on the solution, which is surprisingly simple.

The solution is to equip everyone with effective communication skills. You wouldn’t sit down to play a game with 4 people let alone 40, 400, or 4000, without everyone understanding what the game rules are and the goal. How do you win the game? Yet most companies make almost no effort to equip their employees with the tools (good communication skills) to work together to ‘win’ in business.

If a majority of employees lack effective communication habits, negative communication habits have a way of infiltrating the culture and blurring objectives while diminishing productive efforts. Domination, bullying, ridicule, politics, rude behavior, exclusion, avoidance, personal agendas…countless tactics inhibit the constructive exchange of information. The result? Confusion, frustration, stupidity, turnover. No doubt you can add to this list.

If you own the company, get everyone some good communication training now. Make it a requirement for every new employee to review or learn 10 communication tools. Equip people with the skills to respectfully disagree with each other. Conflict is not a dirty word. Contrasting opinions flush out ideas and solutions. Point folks toward a goal, give them communication strategies to interact, and watch production soar.

You’re not the owner? Fine, take charge and equip yourself. Start using positive, effective communication skills to address whatever insanity that’s been frustrating you in the workplace. Be prepared to see resistance melt away. Watch in awe as your ideas are heard and you gather allies who want to support your efforts. Feel good about addressing situations with clear messages. Your self esteem will double, then double again as you get more done with less effort. You’ll start to see good will around every corner and dysfunction evaporate. You’ll feel like a super hero!

You may be thinking, “This woman is overstating the possibilities associated with basic communication skills.” I’ve been in business for thirty years. I have a good education and many strong qualities that make me successful. The single best thing I ever did for my professional and personal life was to master a few communication techniques. Don’t wait until you’re 36 years old, like I did. Do it today.

Using effective communication in the workplace can change your life. People will model your behavior. As you start winning others around you don’t lose, they win too. We all know positive energy and positive feelings generate excitement. There’s great fun to be had as you change your world. Onward and upward!

Kimberly Schenk is an Author/Executive Recruiter/Trainer. When you master communication skills you become master of your universe. Effective communication skills will improve your relationships, help your career, and get more of your needs met. People will find you more likable! Improve your communication skills today. As you start winning in life others around you don’t lose, they win too!

Schenk has over 25 years of experience in business, training, selling, mentoring and parenting. Great communication skills make life better.

visit: http://www.CommunicationSkills4u.com

http://www.TopRecruiterSecrets.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

To find an online workplace counselling program:

Book Counseling

Only £15 per month, or £110 for a year

We’ll prepare a full page dedicated to your practice or EAP service, ensuring that your details show up prominently in all searches for workplace counselling or EAP.

Your page can include as much information as you like about your practice or service, including website, contact details, photograph and a full description of your practice and/or your approach to client work.

Book your entry using the options below and we’ll send your page and featured listing live within 48 hours.

You can update your page as often as you like, simply let us know the amendments you would like to make and we’ll add them within 48 hours.

After booking you will be directed to a page where you can provide full details of your practice or counselling/EAP service. Your featured page wil be prepared by one of our team of editors and you will have the opportunity to check the contents over before your page goes live.


Book now – £15 per month.

Or book a full year for great savings – only £130 per year.

You can cancel subscription payments at any time, without notice. Please contact us if you have any questions.

Childcare Training – Childcare training directory, with free ebook on child psychology and online training course.

Counselling UK – Online directory of counselors and psychologists throughout the UK.

Counselors Online – Online counseling and therapy with expert therapists.

Couple Therapy Online – Advice for couples and families from expert therapists.

Edinburgh Garden School – Online gardening and horticulture courses from the gardening spacialists.

Employee Counselling –
Online Workplace Counselling.

Learning Curve – One of the Uk’s leading distance learning providers.

Horticulture Courses – Directory of horticulture and gardening courses.

Learning Curve – Online courses from Learning Curve, one of the UK’s leading distance learning providers.

Borders Online Counselling – Online counselling and therapy with expert counsellors.

School for Writers – a leading provider of online writingcourses.

Borders Relationships – online relationship therapy and sex therapy.

Virtual Ocean – Release messages and emotions into the digital ocean.

Borders Business Mentors – Online business advice, articles and mentoring.

Explore Gardening – Online directory of gardeners and garden designers, as well as gardening articles and courses.

What is Therapy – Information and advice about different types of therapy.

Your Course Finder – Online directory of courses, including online, distance learning, part-time and full-time courses.

Over time this tension can build up to the point where we can get headaches, backaches, stomach problems, in fact a whole range of physical symptoms. We also find it increasingly difficult to relax. To begin managing stress effectively we must be able to control the arousal and tension that our bodies feel when we are in situations in which we feel uncomfortable or anxious.

Identifying physical tension

The first step in reducing physical tension is to identify where you hold it in your body.

Look at the list below. Put a tick against each area that you feel tension in right now.

See if you can notice any patterns in the areas of tension.

You may want to repeat the exercise above when you are in a more stressful situation to see if you are tense in the same areas or different ones.

Reducing tension

Once people start to pay attention to their tension they are often surprised at how tense they really are. The good news is that there are a number of relaxation techniques that can be used to reduce physical tension. Some of these are listed below:

See if you can think of some activities that you know reduce your levels of tension and list them below. These may be the techniques or activities listed above or they may be more personal activities that you know reduce your tension such as listening to music or walking in the part.

Sometimes we don’t recognise how much stress we are under until we begin experiencing serious physical or mental symptoms.

The following four-step process will help you to begin assessing the current levels of stress in your life.

Step one: learn to recognise your own signs

Everyone responds in their own way to increasing stress. Some people become progressively more frantic and impetuous, others drag their feet and avoid making decisions. In both cases, stress makes them less efficient. The important thing is to know how you react. The better you know your own signs, the better you will be able to cope with the problem. Learn about yourself by focusing on situations and times when you know you were stressed in the past. You can then learn to recognise your signs early, in order, in future, to take action before the stresses get out of hand. The following questions will help you to recognise your reactions.

Consider each question carefully and jot down your answers.

1.What does it feel like when you are stressed?
2.How does it show?
3.What thoughts run through your mind?
4.What do you do?
5.How does it affect others?
6.How do their reactions affect you?

In order to help you detect stress in your life, use the following list. Go through it carefully, ticking any symptom you recognise. The list is divided into four sections. Most people who suffer from stress find that it affects them in all four ways, so if you mark nothing in one of the sections, you should probably think again.

Changes that may be signs of stress

Feelings
Irritability; you become short-tempered, or easily flare up.
Anxiety or feelings of panic.
Fear – e.g. of being out of control.
Feeling worried – e.g. about your health, or anything else.
Feeling miserable or tearful.
Apathy or agitation.
Lowered self-esteem.

Thoughts
Forgetting things; making mistakes.
Finding it hard to concentrate.
Becoming indecisive.
Getting muddled or confused.
Procrastinating.
Being unable to think far ahead.
Worrying or ruminating rather than solving problems.
Becoming rigid and inflexible, in an effort to keep control.
Predicting the worst.

Behaviours
Getting worse at managing your time.
Getting worse at organising yourself, and others.
Rushing hither and thither.
Finding it hard to delegate.
Working longer and longer hours.
Bring work home; working on weekends.
Avoiding tackling problems, or doing things you dislike.
Cutting down on the things you do for pleasure.
Losing touch with your friends.
Blaming others for the problem.
Finding there’s no time to enjoy yourself.
Needing a drink; turning to drugs.
Needing tranquillisers or sleeping tablets.

Sensations
Aches and pains, especially headaches or stomach-aches.
Tension – e.g. in your neck or shoulders.
Frequent minor ailments.
Disrupted sleep patterns.
Appetite for food increased or decreased.
Appetite for sex increased or decreased.
Flare up of stress-related illness such as psoriasis or asthma.

Step two: weigh the size of the load

Take an objective look at the stresses you face, and write them down if you can. As we have seen, stress is cumulative, so the small things (the chores) count as well as the big ones (your job, your finances, and friendships). Beware of discounting the load in a way that many people do, thinking, for example, ‘everyone else copes with at least as much’ or ‘I should be able to manage, I could last year.’ A heavy load, carried for a long time, wears you down in the end, and different people find different things stressful. Discounting your load only adds internal stress to the external load and puts you under more pressure.

Take a blank sheet of paper and jot down all of the current sources of stress in your life, however small.

Step three: think about recent changes in your life

Changes mean that you need to adapt, so all of them, even if they are for the better, contribute to your level of stress. The demand is obvious if the stress is an illness such as arthritis or losing your job, and less obvious if it comes from being promoted or getting married. Even changes that apparently lessen your load, like retirement or readjusting after your children leave home, can be stressful. Changes of all kinds use up energy, leaving you less to spare until you have adjusted to the changes. Moving house is one of the most underestimated of major changes, and can take months to adapt to completely.

Go back to the list you started earlier. This time add any changes that have happened to you in the last year. Our list, below, gives some examples of the types of change that we know commonly contribute to stress.

Some of the most common stressful events include:

Major Changes

Losses

Disruption to Routine

Trouble and Strife

Step four: think about recent changes in yourself

Having thought about how you respond to stress, the pressures on you, and recent events in your life, do you think that you are too stressed right now? Look again at the list ‘Changes that may be signs of stress’. Have you noticed any recent changes in yourself that might be due to excess stress?

Completing these four steps will help you to identify how much stress you are currently experiencing in your life. If you are under high levels of stress it is extremely important to put in place methods of releasing and reducing this. Effective stress management doesn’t necessarily involve making major life changes, it often begins by making very simple changes such as spending more time with loved ones, or ensuring you make time to walk the dog, garden, or have a relaxing bath. It might also include working with a counsellor to identify ways of reducing or releasing stress, developing effective time management strategies or changing your work-life balance.

It’s also important to remember that some level of stress can be beneficial, pushing us to achieve our best, meet deadlines and fulfil our potential.

Instead of talking face-to-face through your problems with your counsellor, you write about them. This can be a useful way of working if you are very busy or have many other commitments that would make it difficult to meet with a counsellor in person. It can also be a suitable approach if you find it difficult to talk about your problems in person.

Counselling involves sharing your thoughts, fears and feelings with a trained counsellor who can help you to understand and resolve whatever is troubling you, whether it comes from outside circumstances, other people, or within yourself. It can assist you to make decisions or changes that enable you to lead your life more fully.

Our counsellors have a wide range of experience and may be able to help you if you are experiencing the following difficulties:

Latest figures from the HSE suggest that stress in the workplace costs the country over £530 million per year, equating to the loss of over 13 million working days. In the current difficult economic climate, as businesses work hard to recover after the recession, these figures look set to rise.

The cost of ignoring stress can be extremely high – and its impact isn’t restricted to larger organisations or a particular industry sector. Aside from the financial cost of workplace stress, it can cause other issues, such as reduced productivity and performance, and increased illness and absenteeism.

Stress in the Workplace

The HSE note the following statistics:

The annual incidence of work-related mental health problems in Britain in 2008, was approximately 5,126 new cases per year. However, this almost certainly underestimates the true incidence of these conditions in the British workforce.

Estimates from the LFS indicate that work-related stress, depression or anxiety accounted for an estimated 11.4 million lost working days in Britain in 2008/09. Data gathered from General Practitioners indicates that 30.9% of all diagnoses of work-related ill-health are cases of mental ill-health, with an average length of sickness absence per certified case of 26.8 working days.

Some occupation groups have particularly high levels of work-related stress, including teachers, nurses, and housing and welfare officers, customer service workers, and certain professional and managerial groups. These groups report high rates of work-related mental illness, along with medical practitioners and those in public sector, security-based occupations such as police officers, prison officers, and UK armed forces personnel.

Stress and the Individual

Stress can have a wide-ranging impact on well-being and the individual’s performance in the workplace. High levels of stress have been shown to reduce job satisfaction and concentration levels. Stress can also have a massive impact on the health of the individual, ranging from long-term anxiety and mental-health problems to a higher risk of serious physical illness.

Work-related stress can cause both physical and emotional health problems. It can cause suffers to be more prone to physical symptoms such as:

Chronic stress can also contribute to anxiety and depression, and can even increase the individual’s risk of having a heart attack or stroke.

Medical research is now showing strong connections between external factors such as diet, lifestyle and environment and our most serious diseases. We now take it for granted that high blood cholesterol, diabetes mellitus and cigarette smoking are high-risk factors in heart disease, yet in over half of new cases of heart disease, none of these factors is present.

In a 1988 study Dr Hans Eysenek reported that unmanaged reactions to stress where more predictive of death from cancer and heart disease than cigarette smoking. In fact, in the aftermath of a heart attack, the greatest predictors of recovery aren’t physiological factors – such as arterial blockage or the condition of the heart itself – but emotional factors. A startling report discovered that job satisfaction and ‘overall happiness’ are the factors most likely to determine a patient’s recovery. A growing body of scientific evidence demonstrates the direct impact of mental and emotional attitudes on health and well being.

In a ten-year study, people who were unable to effectively manage their stress had a 40 per cent higher death rate than non-stressed individuals.

A Harvard Medical School study of 1,623 heart attack survivors found that when subjects got angry during emotional conflicts their risk of subsequent heart attacks was more than double that of those who remained calm.

A twenty year study of over 1,700 older men conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health found that worry about social conditions, health and personal finances significantly increased the risk or coronary heart disease.

One study of 202 professional women showed that tension between career and personal commitments to spouse, children, and friends was the factor that distinguished those with heart disease from those who were healthy.

An international study of 2,829 people between the ages of fifty-five and eighty-five found that individuals who reported feeling as if they had control over life events had a nearly sixty percent lower risk of death compared with those who felt relatively helpless in the face of life’s challenges.

According to a Mayo Clinic study of individuals with heart disease, psychological stress was the strongest predictor of future cardiac events. including cardiac death, heart attack or cardiac arrest.

Counselling and workplace stress

A major 2001 study by Professor John McLeod of the University of Abertay, Dundee, showed that counselling can reduce levels of stress in the workplace by more than 50 per cent.

Professor McLeod found that after workplace counselling:

If you choose instant chat, you will be provided with sign-in details so you can login to a secure area of our site at any time and begin chatting to a counsellor. If you prefer e-mail counselling you will be provided with the e-mail address of your personal counsellor, who will work with you for a period of sessions. You can also choose to combine both of these approaches.

Who are your counsellors?

All of our counsellors are trained professionals, with extensive experience of working online with clients. We only work with counsellors and psychotherapists who are registered with a recognised professional body, for instance, the BACP or Counselling Society.

But surely online counselling isn’t suitable for everyone?

Online Counselling has been shown to be an effective way of supporting clients facing a wide range of issues. However, we recognise that it may not be suitable for every client. If it becomes clear to a counsellor that you require different or more intensive support than can be provided by online counselling, they will assist you to identify and access the most appropriate support in their area. This may include a referral to your GP or in some cases to a crisis support service.

In particular, online counselling is not appropriate if you are in immediate crisis. If you are feeling suicidal please contact the Samaritans:

www.samaritans.org

Or befrienders at:

www.befrienders.org

What about confidentiality?

All of our counsellors work to a strict ethical code and offer confidentiality to all clients. For more on this subject, please see Our Ethical Statement.

How does Instant Chat Counselling work?

With this option you can sign in to our website at any time and begin talking to a counsellor immediately, simply by clicking on the ‘Chat’ button.

How does E-mail Counselling work?

With this option you work with your counsellor over three – six e-mail sessions. This is a good option if you wish to work on a current challenge or issue with your counsellor. Each session works as follows:

a. You send your initial enquiry.

b. Your counsellor responds within 24 hours, with his or her thoughts.

c. You send your response to the counselling e-mail with your thoughts, feelings and comments, as well as the results of any exercises you may have been given.

d. Your counsellor provides a detailed response within 48 hours.

Each employee is provided with a login name and password. They can login to a secure area of our site at any time and begin chatting to a counsellor. If the client prefers e-mail counselling they will be assigned a personal counsellor who will work with them for a period of sessions.

Who are your counsellors?

All of our counsellors are trained professionals, with extensive experience of working online with clients. They are all BACP or Counselling Society accredited and have undertaken specialist training in brief therapy.

Surely online counselling isn’t suitable for everyone?

Online Counselling has been shown to be an effective way of supporting clients facing a wide range of issues. However, we recognise that it may not be suitable for every client. If it becomes clear to a counsellor that a client requires different or more intensive support than can be provided by online counselling, they will assist the client to identify and access the most appropriate support in their area. This may include a referral to their GP or in some cases to a crisis support service.

What about confidentiality?

All of our counsellors work to a strict ethical code and offer confidentiality to all clients. For more on this subject, please see our Ethical Statement.

How much does it cost?

Our flat rate is £20 per online counselling session, but we offer significant reductions for booking monthly in advance. If the option you are looking for is not listed, please contact us.